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Jane put up with a lot of this self-doubt stuff, and when I’d go on about not being able to bridge the sexual gap between how I’m imagined and how I am, she’d ask me why exactly I was so fixated on having partnered sex.

The right and healthy answer for me is
“because I like it and its fun,” but during those moments, the truthful answer was more along the lines of “because I need to be wanted and to prove that I can.”

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